Nearly 3 years on.....

Right I have not blogged for a very long time. The last time I blogged was just after I finished treatment and I now feel the need to tell you all what has happened in the last three year.

I entered remission in April 2010 and the last three years have been very busy. I have had a lot of up's and downs. Lets start with the downs and end on the positives!

I lost my Step dad to Prostate cancer in September 2011 after a long battle which was one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through in my life, my Dad had a mini-stroke last year but luckily he was OK and is fit and healthy and i have lost so many friends to the dreaded  Cancer.

Like all post-cancer patients I still have down days but most of the time I am happy I have a great career as a teacher, a loving relationship and I play a sport at an international level (more on that later).

The main thing that still gets me down and I still some days find it hard to come to terms with is been an amputee it can be so frustrating some days and I have such strong emotions that it effects the way I am with people sometimes. I can go from been chatty and bubbly to not wanting to speak to anyone and over thinking things in the same day. HOWEVER most of the time I am happy and positive about the path that life has dealt me.

The main reason for this update is my involvement in Sledge Hockey. It is a Paralympic sport and allows disabled athletes to play a version of Ice Hockey. I began playing in July 2011 and now not even two years later I am part of the GB squad travelling to Japan in March 2013 for the World Pool B championships and we are going to try and push our hardest to finish in the top 3 and give ourselves a shot at qualifying for the Paralympic's in 2014.

The sport is a fantastic sport to be involved in and I have had the privilege to play with some fantastic athletes. I have also made some great friends by been involved in the sport. The sport has helped me to keep motivated to keep myself fit and healthy and allow me to have that team sport environment that I lost when I had to stop playing football.

I am still in remission and all been well I am due to be given the all clear in April 2015. There is not a day goes by were I do not worry about whether i will get through the remission period. I keep myself fit and healthy and I always tell myself I have already beaten the cancer and it is not EVER coming back.

Support GB Sledge Hockey next month and for anyone going through the cancer journey remain positive, keep yourself busy and surround yourself with the ones that you care about.

Thanks for reading

Matt

Final Blog Entry

Hey

It has now been nearly 3 months since I finished my chemotherapy and entered remission. I was meant to write this entry ages ago but havent got round to it. Since my last entry I have done lots of things. I completed the Hull 10k for Teenage Cancer Trust alongside 25 of my family and friends. Together we raised more than £3000 for the new Teenage Cancer Trust ward that will be built in Hull.

A couple of weeks ago I had the Matthew Woollias Charity ball which raised money for the Teenage Cancer Trust, 134 people attended the ball and the night was a huge success. The most nerve racking moment was my thank you speech, just before the speech two of my friends had to calm me down because I was that nervous. However once I got the speech out of the way the whole night was really good and we have raised £2700 for the Teenage Cancer Trust from the evening.

On the same day as the ball my charity football team Matts Legends FC took on Next Kingston unfortunately we lost 5-4 but again raised £150 for the Teenage Cancer Trust.

I have also been on holiday to Newquay with some friends and it was really nice to get away and forget Hull and Leeds and hospital check ups for a week.

I had my first remission check up about 2 weeks ago and thankfully i got the all clear again. Although I am on the road to recovery I still find things tough sometime. Most days I am fine and if I keep myself busy im very happy. Sometimes however I just feel angry inside not for long just for a moment I will feel frustrated and annoyed with the last year. I think why has this happened, even though ive gone into remission you still think what if it comes back? what long term effects will the chemo have? and why do I have one leg at 21 years old.

I know I have to try not to think about it but thats easier said than done. Dont get me wrong most of the time im happy and things are great but every now and again I get frustrated and angry. Im sure with time these thoughts will fade and the frustration will ease.

What I will say though is the last year had made me grow up a lot and see the world in a different perspective. I have to feel lucky and privelged that I have won the battle, there are people that dont. There is always someone worse off than you and thats what stops me feeling sorry for myself to much.

This last year has been one hell of a ride but ive survived and its time to get on with my life.

Hopefully you wont here from this blog again

Thanks for all the support

Matt

LAST CHEMO

I had my las chemo about 10 days ago. Its a weird but good feeling that after 11 months I have finally finished. My chemo was rubbish as usual I was real ill and felt awful. I had a chest xray as a final check up and it was all clear so I am now in remission. I am happy about this but it is very wierd finishing. I wish I could be all done and back to normal but I still look ill. I just want my hair back. I know after a year of all ive been through the loss of hair shouldnt seem a big thing but it is to me. I dont look the same person I have become very self concious.

Over the summer I have big plans. I have a month of celebrations then im going on holiday with the lads. Then I move out and then im on holiday with the family. I cant wait. I will publish a final blog in a couple of weeks,

Chemotherapy 13

I have now had 13 sessions of chemotherapy! I have coped alot better with this one than I did the one before. The doctor has sorted my anti sickenss and it has kept my sickness to a mininum. I now have 20 days until its finished, yes chemo will be over no more I am ridiculously excited!!!

It is going to be weird going back to a life of normality. Im not really sure how I am going to feel but I am looking forward to it. I will shortly be announcing were you can all sponsor me if you would like. Im doing the Hull 10k in May with friends and family and the next blog post will be about that.

Ill hopefully keep my chin up over the next few weeks and keep smiling :) I hate it when I get all down and morbid. BRING ON SUMMER!!!

The last year in short

I have been feeling fed up and grumpy recently so I have decided to write a poem about the last 10 months and place it on this blog:

Ten months of Hell

The battles been long

Im still here fighting

Standing tall and strong

All the chemo pumped in me

Has made me so weak

Still its been worth it

The future could have been bleak

Amputation was hard

I was down and depressed

Then came the news

The tumour was dead

Now treatment is finished

Its time to recover

Live life to the max

This journey has been like no other

Hope you like it

Matt

Post Chemotherapy 12

I have now had 12 sessions of chemotherapy and I have 2 sessions left. I was really ill with this chemo couldnt stop been sick for 24 hours it got that bad I was given a drug called Nozinan which knocked me out for a fair few hours. I felt terrible which mentally drained me to and I just kept thinking "WHY WHY WHY". 12 months ago my main concerns was how I would fund my next night out not all the shit that comes with having cancer. The only thing keeping me going mentally is the fact I only have two sessions of chemo left. Anymore and I think i could just about cry. But I wont dont want to show signs of weakness when i am so near the end.

Regarding me false leg all things are good I can even run now which is fantastic. Ive kind of hit a brick wall with the physio as my chemo is stopping me getting fit again and taking up running. Once chemo finishes I will be hitting the gym.

3 chemos to go!!!!

I have just finished my 11th session of gruelling chemotherapy. I felt really bad when having this session worst ive ever felt on chemotherapy. I was sick a couple of times and felt sick most of the time i was in hospital. I came out of hospital on sunday and hopefully will be home for 3 weeks. On better news I got a new fitting for my leg which has made my limp virtually disappear and I should be learning to run again over the next few weeks.

Recently I have been growing increasingly frustrated and angry with well EVERYTHING!!!!! The cancer, the chemo, the false leg, the worrying about catching a cold and now im on the final lap of my treatment I am just looking towards the end and wish the end of treatment was here now. Then life can go back to some sense of normality. I think the frustration boils down to that im near the end but I want the end now and as the chemo is making me feel worse each time that doesnt help with the angry feeling inside me. Its like I want to see cancer as a human form look it straight in the eye and punch it down to the ground, whereas the battle I have faced has been alot more brutal and I have become weaker with every batch of chemo.