Nearly 3 years on.....

Right I have not blogged for a very long time. The last time I blogged was just after I finished treatment and I now feel the need to tell you all what has happened in the last three year.

I entered remission in April 2010 and the last three years have been very busy. I have had a lot of up's and downs. Lets start with the downs and end on the positives!

I lost my Step dad to Prostate cancer in September 2011 after a long battle which was one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through in my life, my Dad had a mini-stroke last year but luckily he was OK and is fit and healthy and i have lost so many friends to the dreaded  Cancer.

Like all post-cancer patients I still have down days but most of the time I am happy I have a great career as a teacher, a loving relationship and I play a sport at an international level (more on that later).

The main thing that still gets me down and I still some days find it hard to come to terms with is been an amputee it can be so frustrating some days and I have such strong emotions that it effects the way I am with people sometimes. I can go from been chatty and bubbly to not wanting to speak to anyone and over thinking things in the same day. HOWEVER most of the time I am happy and positive about the path that life has dealt me.

The main reason for this update is my involvement in Sledge Hockey. It is a Paralympic sport and allows disabled athletes to play a version of Ice Hockey. I began playing in July 2011 and now not even two years later I am part of the GB squad travelling to Japan in March 2013 for the World Pool B championships and we are going to try and push our hardest to finish in the top 3 and give ourselves a shot at qualifying for the Paralympic's in 2014.

The sport is a fantastic sport to be involved in and I have had the privilege to play with some fantastic athletes. I have also made some great friends by been involved in the sport. The sport has helped me to keep motivated to keep myself fit and healthy and allow me to have that team sport environment that I lost when I had to stop playing football.

I am still in remission and all been well I am due to be given the all clear in April 2015. There is not a day goes by were I do not worry about whether i will get through the remission period. I keep myself fit and healthy and I always tell myself I have already beaten the cancer and it is not EVER coming back.

Support GB Sledge Hockey next month and for anyone going through the cancer journey remain positive, keep yourself busy and surround yourself with the ones that you care about.

Thanks for reading

Matt

Final Blog Entry

Hey

It has now been nearly 3 months since I finished my chemotherapy and entered remission. I was meant to write this entry ages ago but havent got round to it. Since my last entry I have done lots of things. I completed the Hull 10k for Teenage Cancer Trust alongside 25 of my family and friends. Together we raised more than £3000 for the new Teenage Cancer Trust ward that will be built in Hull.

A couple of weeks ago I had the Matthew Woollias Charity ball which raised money for the Teenage Cancer Trust, 134 people attended the ball and the night was a huge success. The most nerve racking moment was my thank you speech, just before the speech two of my friends had to calm me down because I was that nervous. However once I got the speech out of the way the whole night was really good and we have raised £2700 for the Teenage Cancer Trust from the evening.

On the same day as the ball my charity football team Matts Legends FC took on Next Kingston unfortunately we lost 5-4 but again raised £150 for the Teenage Cancer Trust.

I have also been on holiday to Newquay with some friends and it was really nice to get away and forget Hull and Leeds and hospital check ups for a week.

I had my first remission check up about 2 weeks ago and thankfully i got the all clear again. Although I am on the road to recovery I still find things tough sometime. Most days I am fine and if I keep myself busy im very happy. Sometimes however I just feel angry inside not for long just for a moment I will feel frustrated and annoyed with the last year. I think why has this happened, even though ive gone into remission you still think what if it comes back? what long term effects will the chemo have? and why do I have one leg at 21 years old.

I know I have to try not to think about it but thats easier said than done. Dont get me wrong most of the time im happy and things are great but every now and again I get frustrated and angry. Im sure with time these thoughts will fade and the frustration will ease.

What I will say though is the last year had made me grow up a lot and see the world in a different perspective. I have to feel lucky and privelged that I have won the battle, there are people that dont. There is always someone worse off than you and thats what stops me feeling sorry for myself to much.

This last year has been one hell of a ride but ive survived and its time to get on with my life.

Hopefully you wont here from this blog again

Thanks for all the support

Matt

LAST CHEMO

I had my las chemo about 10 days ago. Its a weird but good feeling that after 11 months I have finally finished. My chemo was rubbish as usual I was real ill and felt awful. I had a chest xray as a final check up and it was all clear so I am now in remission. I am happy about this but it is very wierd finishing. I wish I could be all done and back to normal but I still look ill. I just want my hair back. I know after a year of all ive been through the loss of hair shouldnt seem a big thing but it is to me. I dont look the same person I have become very self concious.

Over the summer I have big plans. I have a month of celebrations then im going on holiday with the lads. Then I move out and then im on holiday with the family. I cant wait. I will publish a final blog in a couple of weeks,

Chemotherapy 13

I have now had 13 sessions of chemotherapy! I have coped alot better with this one than I did the one before. The doctor has sorted my anti sickenss and it has kept my sickness to a mininum. I now have 20 days until its finished, yes chemo will be over no more I am ridiculously excited!!!

It is going to be weird going back to a life of normality. Im not really sure how I am going to feel but I am looking forward to it. I will shortly be announcing were you can all sponsor me if you would like. Im doing the Hull 10k in May with friends and family and the next blog post will be about that.

Ill hopefully keep my chin up over the next few weeks and keep smiling :) I hate it when I get all down and morbid. BRING ON SUMMER!!!

The last year in short

I have been feeling fed up and grumpy recently so I have decided to write a poem about the last 10 months and place it on this blog:

Ten months of Hell

The battles been long

Im still here fighting

Standing tall and strong

All the chemo pumped in me

Has made me so weak

Still its been worth it

The future could have been bleak

Amputation was hard

I was down and depressed

Then came the news

The tumour was dead

Now treatment is finished

Its time to recover

Live life to the max

This journey has been like no other

Hope you like it

Matt

Post Chemotherapy 12

I have now had 12 sessions of chemotherapy and I have 2 sessions left. I was really ill with this chemo couldnt stop been sick for 24 hours it got that bad I was given a drug called Nozinan which knocked me out for a fair few hours. I felt terrible which mentally drained me to and I just kept thinking "WHY WHY WHY". 12 months ago my main concerns was how I would fund my next night out not all the shit that comes with having cancer. The only thing keeping me going mentally is the fact I only have two sessions of chemo left. Anymore and I think i could just about cry. But I wont dont want to show signs of weakness when i am so near the end.

Regarding me false leg all things are good I can even run now which is fantastic. Ive kind of hit a brick wall with the physio as my chemo is stopping me getting fit again and taking up running. Once chemo finishes I will be hitting the gym.

3 chemos to go!!!!

I have just finished my 11th session of gruelling chemotherapy. I felt really bad when having this session worst ive ever felt on chemotherapy. I was sick a couple of times and felt sick most of the time i was in hospital. I came out of hospital on sunday and hopefully will be home for 3 weeks. On better news I got a new fitting for my leg which has made my limp virtually disappear and I should be learning to run again over the next few weeks.

Recently I have been growing increasingly frustrated and angry with well EVERYTHING!!!!! The cancer, the chemo, the false leg, the worrying about catching a cold and now im on the final lap of my treatment I am just looking towards the end and wish the end of treatment was here now. Then life can go back to some sense of normality. I think the frustration boils down to that im near the end but I want the end now and as the chemo is making me feel worse each time that doesnt help with the angry feeling inside me. Its like I want to see cancer as a human form look it straight in the eye and punch it down to the ground, whereas the battle I have faced has been alot more brutal and I have become weaker with every batch of chemo.

12 weeks and counting!!!!

I have fought many battles in the last year and i am now entering the final stages of my fight against cancer. I have won every battle and fought against all that Ewings has thrown at me and now there are 4 more chemos left and i can just see the light at the end of a very long tunnel. I can now see my life beyond cancer and chemotherapy I can plan things that dont revolve around hospital appointments and all this must be a good thing.

I have just finished my 10th sessions of body destroying chemotherapy and had a flu jab to. Ive been sorting out the tickets for my ball to and will be selling them this month. I also have my post chemo beating cancer celebration sorted and that will be a weekend in Newcastle. I cannot wait load of my friends have said they are coming to and we have nearly booked out a hotel its also on FA Cup final day so all day drinking is on order i reckon.

Beginning of a good year!!!!

Happy New Year to everyone

2009 is finally over and 2010 has begun. I have 5 chemotherapy sessions left then thats my treatment over and hopefully fingers crossed I wont need treatment for Ewings again. I have been doing well with my physio to and the next stage will be to start light jogging. However the fitting of my leg is not right at the moment due to my swelling shrinking. I am hopefully getting a refitting this month meaning I can start running again. I need to start my training for the 10k run im doing in May for the Teenage Cancer Trust.

I also want to add that 2009 was without saying a difficult year and I would like to thank everyone who was there to support me and who continue to support me through the next few months. A special thanks to my Dad Paul and Mum Margaret for all the hospital appointments they have attended with me and physio appointments they have taken me to.

End of a bad year

Tommorow is new years eve and the end of what can only be described as the worst year of my life. When I celebrated new years eve 2008 I had no idea what 2009 had in store for me.The year is ending on a good note with a party at a friends. I am also walking competely unaided now which is amazing only 2 month after my amputation.

2010 I have many new years resolutions:
1. Learn to run again as quickly as possible
2. Once chemo is over become fitter than ever
3. Raise awareness of bone cancer through various charitie fundraisers
4. Life life to the full and celebrate that I am still here to live it

Happy New Year

Chemotherapy session 9 and leg update

I have now completed 9 sessions of chemo and i have 5 left. The chemo is seeming very tedious now and im counting down the days until its over. Christmas is in a couple of days and im trying to get into the festivites but it seems hard after the year me and my family have had. I recently celebrated my 21st birthday and my dads 60th birthday. I enjoyed the celebrations a lot more than i thought i would so im hoping christmas is the same.

I also recieved a new foot for my artificial leg last week which has made the walking a lot easier and im hoping to be walking completely unaided in the not so distant future. The one thing that i need to improve on is my balance. Im fine walking on my own tbut i tried to pick up my little niece Megan the other day and couldnt get my balance right. This is my next goal to sort my balance and to then become more independant.

Hope you all have a very happy christmas

Matt
xxx

A short summary of 2009

2009 began well was enjoying uni and socialising and drinking alot with friends. Life was pretty sweet until April I had just got a girlfriend to. Then in short lets sum up the amount of kicks in the teeth ive had:

1)Diagnosed with bone cancer and step dad diagnosed with incurable prostate cancer
2)Told the best option for a cure is chemo and amputation
3)Things got to real for my GF and i was dumped
4)Grandad diagnosed with incurable prostate cancer
5)Lose my leg below knee and now have to learn to walk again

Now its xmas time and I cant stop thinking that this time last year I thought 2009 was going to be a lot different than it is. Yes im beating the aggressive little fucker they call Ewings with every ounce of strength i have and yes the physio is going well and ill be running faster than before by the time ive finished.

My point is WHY should i have to do these things to survive and then continue to live my life once chemo is over. I think the chemo is making me exhausted to and my mental strength is hard to keep going but i know i have to. Once the clock strikes midnight on December 31st it is a new beginning and 2010 will be good whatever happens im not letting the next year be as shit as this one has. Im not looking for sympathy im just telling it like it is i dont want sympathy just want people to know how hard it is to go through this. How hard it is to know that some people you meet in hospital arent doing as well as me and some the unlucky ones dont make it. Its scary to think what might have happenend. But it didnt and im winning the battle and will fight on to make sure it doesnt come back.

Heres to a happy new year

Matt

First leg has arrived

I got my first leg yesterday. I went to Seacroft hospital leeds and the technology been used for my leg meant i could get my leg fitted and taken home in the same day. The software used was CAD/CAM and used a lazer to scan my leg and get a perfect shape for the shape of my socket for my false leg. There was alot of waiting about yesterday but eventually I got my leg fitted and after a few adjustments there it was my first leg. I was told that they had ordered me a better foot and should be on its way in a few days. Eventually I am going to end up with two legs one for everyday and one for sport.

Getting the leg is a step in the right direction and theres only 4 months of cancer treatment left. Still got the whole fed up ora around me but im coping ok and its christmas soon so thats something to look forward to.

Post 8th Chemo

Had my 8th session of chemo at last thursday and came out of hospital on saturday. I also had my swine flu vaccine last week and felt terrible wednesday night had a temperature and went into jimmys on early thursday morning to check all was ok before i started chemo.

I had a call from the physio while i was having chemo and she said they wanted to try a new cad/cam method for builiding my prosthesis. This would mean if it worked i could have my false leg on the same day as my primary fitting. This is very exciting meaning i could be walking by january which i cant wait to start walking again. The frustration of been on crutches and in a wheelchair is unbelievable.

The charity ball is now confirmed for the 19th June aswell. Anyone wanting details please ask.

Matt

Chemo delays and the fall

My chemo has been delayed this time I have to go back this friday. Thid is due to my white blood count been to low which also means im more prone to infection fingers crossed I dont get a cold then. I had a bit of a tumble last week I was in pub with my friends and went to toilet I slipped on the wet floor and landed on my stump.

The pain was quite bad and I had to have some oral morphine to go to sleep that night, I also had to miss my physio the next day because of the bruising on my stump. The upside of missing chemo meant i got to go and watch footy this weekend which was good i seem to be alot more happier when am out and about and not in my house. I get more fed up sat about in the house but when im out somewere different im more happy. Chemo is due to finish in April now so im counting down the days till then.

Matt

Physio and other shit

Hey

Ive now had 4 sessions of physio and im getting more confident on my feet as phsyio goes on. Ive bin walking on a temporary limg i get my first proper limb on my birthday which is abit strange. Im fed up of been one legged now its really annoying cant do anything for myself. Also even though im beating the cancer i still get really fed up and sick of everything ive hated 2009 cannot wait till its over. This has been the worst yesr of my life by a mile and as soon as its over i can get back to getting on with my life.

Matt

Post 7th chemotherapy

Hey ive just had my 7th lot of chemotherapy. This set of chemo has been a lot milder and hopefully the side effects wont be as intense as the last 6. Ive bin abit fed up this week waiting for the post surgical results to see how dead my tumour is. For there to be a good response more than 90% needed to be dead

I got the phone call from Mr Tillman yesterday and he informed me the tumour was more than 95% DEAD and therefore the response was good and i would be having 7 more cycles of chemotherapy and my treatment would then be complete. Therefore at the end of MArch 2010 i will be able to go back to leading a normal life.

This is the happiest ive been for a while and it shows that the last 6 months have been worthwhile even though very hard.

Matt

Update on my leg

Its almost 2 weeks since my operation and my stump is healing well. Tommorow i go in for chemotherapy which will be milder than the chemo i was on before the amputation. Also i will be in hospital for less time which is good. The pain in my wound is mild now but the phantom pain and pins and needles from the nerve damage caused by the operation is starting to piss me off. Its a very strange sensation not really pain but a electric shock sort of sensation,

Last week i had my first physio which was good and i did more than i expected. I walked on a temporary false limb and a video of this can be found on my facebook site. Im pretty fed up to i cant wait to get my prosthetic so i can walk and get about without having to really on my family to do the simplest things for me like get me a drink or get me my tablets or get me my breakfast. Be good to be independant once again.

Bye for now
Matt

The hardest week of my life

On sunday 18th October i travelled down to birmingham to be admitted to the Royal Orthapaedic Hospital for my amputation. The amputation would take place on monday morning. Considering what i was about to have done i slep fairly well on sunday night and woke early monday to sign the consent form.

My dad and step mum were there and they came down with me as far as they could go to the operating theatre. I hugged my step mum and i saw tears in her eyes, hugged my dad and knew he was trying to hide the tears aswell. This is when it sunk in were i was going and when i next woke up i would have half a leg missing. I was petrified the nurses had to calm me down abit and they were very reassuring and i realised that even though i was losing half a leg it was necessary to save my life. Without getting rid of the tumour i would die so it was definately for the best.

I woke up in the operating theatre and asked for Mr Tillman (the surgeon) i shook his hand and thanked him for doing what was right and removing the tumour from my body. I then past out again and woke again in recovery. I didnt realise but i had actually being away from the ward for 4 hours so my dad and step mum were panicking abit. So were the rest of my family at home waiting for news on my condition.

For the first 24 hours after the op i had an epidural so i was numb from the waist down which was strange. This was to make sure i did not wake up in any pain after the op. My reaction to waking up with half a leg missing was quite calm and everyone elses seemed calm to. The week in hosptial was quite relaxing if im honest. I started my physio on a zimmer frame and got my balance quite quickly and moved onto crutches i was abit wobbly at first but i think this was down to the epidural still having an effect. The day after i learnt how to walk up and down stairs which was more difficult but i still picked it up quickly.

After going into hospital on sunday i was going home on the friday which at first was a happy day and slowly turned into the day from hell. I had severe travel sickness on the way home and i felt so ill i just wanted to be back in hospital. I however did get home and went straight to bed and slept it off.

To finish off the last week has being the hardest week of my life ever. Coming to terms psychologically with an amputation is hard i put on a calm and positive front and thats how i feel most of the time. But it is also frustrating and upsetting being disabled for the next 6 weeks while it heals. Ino im not going to be able to do things i want for a while and im defo finding it hard at the minute the tiredness, the whole amputation, starting chemo again and physio its going to be a long tough ride and im glad ive got such a fantastic support base.

One las thing thank you to my dad, step mum, mum, step dad and brother phil and sis in law michelle for keeping me company in Birmingham you all helped keep my spirits up. And thank you to all the gifts cards and messages of support i recieved. The whole support is overwhelming.

Matt

Last nights charity event

On October 10th Craig Howe organised a charity event in aid of Teenage Cancer Trust and to raise awareness of my fight against Ewings Sarcoma. The event consisted of a charity gig and a raffle and the sale of teenage cancer trust wristbands. I would like to thank craig for organising the event. I would also like to thank Jason and Gail Pickersgill who provided me with a brand new laptop free of charge which is very appreciated.