The last year in short

I have been feeling fed up and grumpy recently so I have decided to write a poem about the last 10 months and place it on this blog:

Ten months of Hell

The battles been long

Im still here fighting

Standing tall and strong

All the chemo pumped in me

Has made me so weak

Still its been worth it

The future could have been bleak

Amputation was hard

I was down and depressed

Then came the news

The tumour was dead

Now treatment is finished

Its time to recover

Live life to the max

This journey has been like no other

Hope you like it

Matt

Post Chemotherapy 12

I have now had 12 sessions of chemotherapy and I have 2 sessions left. I was really ill with this chemo couldnt stop been sick for 24 hours it got that bad I was given a drug called Nozinan which knocked me out for a fair few hours. I felt terrible which mentally drained me to and I just kept thinking "WHY WHY WHY". 12 months ago my main concerns was how I would fund my next night out not all the shit that comes with having cancer. The only thing keeping me going mentally is the fact I only have two sessions of chemo left. Anymore and I think i could just about cry. But I wont dont want to show signs of weakness when i am so near the end.

Regarding me false leg all things are good I can even run now which is fantastic. Ive kind of hit a brick wall with the physio as my chemo is stopping me getting fit again and taking up running. Once chemo finishes I will be hitting the gym.

3 chemos to go!!!!

I have just finished my 11th session of gruelling chemotherapy. I felt really bad when having this session worst ive ever felt on chemotherapy. I was sick a couple of times and felt sick most of the time i was in hospital. I came out of hospital on sunday and hopefully will be home for 3 weeks. On better news I got a new fitting for my leg which has made my limp virtually disappear and I should be learning to run again over the next few weeks.

Recently I have been growing increasingly frustrated and angry with well EVERYTHING!!!!! The cancer, the chemo, the false leg, the worrying about catching a cold and now im on the final lap of my treatment I am just looking towards the end and wish the end of treatment was here now. Then life can go back to some sense of normality. I think the frustration boils down to that im near the end but I want the end now and as the chemo is making me feel worse each time that doesnt help with the angry feeling inside me. Its like I want to see cancer as a human form look it straight in the eye and punch it down to the ground, whereas the battle I have faced has been alot more brutal and I have become weaker with every batch of chemo.

12 weeks and counting!!!!

I have fought many battles in the last year and i am now entering the final stages of my fight against cancer. I have won every battle and fought against all that Ewings has thrown at me and now there are 4 more chemos left and i can just see the light at the end of a very long tunnel. I can now see my life beyond cancer and chemotherapy I can plan things that dont revolve around hospital appointments and all this must be a good thing.

I have just finished my 10th sessions of body destroying chemotherapy and had a flu jab to. Ive been sorting out the tickets for my ball to and will be selling them this month. I also have my post chemo beating cancer celebration sorted and that will be a weekend in Newcastle. I cannot wait load of my friends have said they are coming to and we have nearly booked out a hotel its also on FA Cup final day so all day drinking is on order i reckon.

Beginning of a good year!!!!

Happy New Year to everyone

2009 is finally over and 2010 has begun. I have 5 chemotherapy sessions left then thats my treatment over and hopefully fingers crossed I wont need treatment for Ewings again. I have been doing well with my physio to and the next stage will be to start light jogging. However the fitting of my leg is not right at the moment due to my swelling shrinking. I am hopefully getting a refitting this month meaning I can start running again. I need to start my training for the 10k run im doing in May for the Teenage Cancer Trust.

I also want to add that 2009 was without saying a difficult year and I would like to thank everyone who was there to support me and who continue to support me through the next few months. A special thanks to my Dad Paul and Mum Margaret for all the hospital appointments they have attended with me and physio appointments they have taken me to.

End of a bad year

Tommorow is new years eve and the end of what can only be described as the worst year of my life. When I celebrated new years eve 2008 I had no idea what 2009 had in store for me.The year is ending on a good note with a party at a friends. I am also walking competely unaided now which is amazing only 2 month after my amputation.

2010 I have many new years resolutions:
1. Learn to run again as quickly as possible
2. Once chemo is over become fitter than ever
3. Raise awareness of bone cancer through various charitie fundraisers
4. Life life to the full and celebrate that I am still here to live it

Happy New Year

Chemotherapy session 9 and leg update

I have now completed 9 sessions of chemo and i have 5 left. The chemo is seeming very tedious now and im counting down the days until its over. Christmas is in a couple of days and im trying to get into the festivites but it seems hard after the year me and my family have had. I recently celebrated my 21st birthday and my dads 60th birthday. I enjoyed the celebrations a lot more than i thought i would so im hoping christmas is the same.

I also recieved a new foot for my artificial leg last week which has made the walking a lot easier and im hoping to be walking completely unaided in the not so distant future. The one thing that i need to improve on is my balance. Im fine walking on my own tbut i tried to pick up my little niece Megan the other day and couldnt get my balance right. This is my next goal to sort my balance and to then become more independant.

Hope you all have a very happy christmas

Matt
xxx