Thursday, 20 August 2009

Time to let off abit of steam

Ive looked back at the blogs i have published since my diagnosis and ive come to realise i havent told you all how i actually feel about having this shit disease. I have just described treatment procedures and put on a front to the world. Dont get me wrong im positive and know in my heart i will beat the cancer it may take over my life for 9 months but ill be the one that wins in the end.

I do however have alot of resentful and angry feelings about life in general i ask myself questions such as why me? what have i done? look at all the sickos in the world and still i wouldnt wish this on anyone. The one thing cancer and chemotherapy does more than anything is make you think about life about what you have done so far, plans for the future, ive set myself alot of goals recently and once my chemos over who knows what the next few years brings so im gunna live life to its full potential and make sure i dont waste a single day by saying things like "ill do it tommorow" or "i cant be bothered". Which in the past were two of my favourite phrases.

Anyway i dont want to open up to much for now
Thanks for reading
Matt

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